Naively you analyse how long baby napped today and how they were late settling for bed – you assure yourself they’re bound to wake up a bit later tomorrow. Unfortunately, with babies logic never prevails.
But rarely, just occasionally, baby does miraculously sleep through their usual internal alarm clock and you are allowed to actually wake up naturally. Today we slept in until 9am!!! An actual baby miracle. I won’t lie, it was amazing. But I fell into the baby sleep trap which gets me every time…the 18 stages of reacting to a baby lie in:
1. Start to come around blissfully slowly but something feels strange.
2. Sit up bolt upright – what on earth is the time?!
3. Check the clock in disbelief.
4. Do a silent dance of jubilation.
5. Lay perfectly still wondering if you can get away with another snooze. Or maybe you should treat yourself to a baby-free shower or hot cup of tea?
6. No, definitely don’t move. Baby will sense it and wake up. You need to relish this feeling of being vaguely rested.
7. You need to wee. No, hold it in. It’s not worth waking the baby to go.
8. Hmmm, it’s funny that baby has slept so long. Hope they’re ok.
9. Baby is really quiet in there, surely they can’t still be sleeping.
10. Hope nothing is wrong.
11. Stealthily sneak to baby’s door and listen to the silence.
12. Become overcome with concern. You really need to check they’re ok.
13. Slowly turn the door handle and peep your head in – all achieved without making a single noise. Baby is of course fine and fast asleep. Relief.
14. Repeat military precision of closing door without a sound, tip toe back into bed. Put head on pillow and let out a relaxed sigh.
15. Baby cries. You’ve woken them up. Dammit. Bad parent.
16. Spend the day telling everyone about your amazing lie-in from your wonderful genius baby and enjoy your new-found energy from having actually slept.
17. Wonder if this is the start of a new era of baby sleep time? Maybe you can stay up past 10pm this evening – enjoy a glass of wine and being a grown up? You can totally work with this new routine!
18. At 6am the following day realise it’s not. Back to it then.